Saturdays at 8:00 PM

 

Hyacinth Bucket (she insists it’s pronounced “Bouquet”) is so obsessed with etiquette and breeding that she has made her husband Richard’s life miserable. Their house is spotless, their car is perfect and they don’t even use the back door of their house. Why she even puts her empty milk bottles in the dishwasher so they are spotless on the doorstep! The rest of her family is another story. Her sister Daisy’s husband Onslaw is a slob and her lecherous father is a drunk. Imagine her shame when he is arrested pedaling naked on his bike while chasing a milkwoman. Patricia Routledge stars as Hyacinth, Judy Cornwell is Daisy and Clive Swift plays Richard.

Series 1 • Series 2 • Series 3 • Series 4 • Series 5

Episode Descriptions:

#101
Hyacinth goes to almost manic lengths to ensure that even the most routine events are just so, much to the chagrin of her husband Richard and her neighbour Liz.

#102
Hyacinth has asked the new vicar to tea and, in her usual meticulous way she has organised the event down to the last sugar lump. But then suddenly, out of the blue...

#103
Hyacinth looks forward to soaking up a little culture at her favourite stately home.

#104
Hyacinth is at her wits end, what with the charity shop, Councillor Nugent, Rose’s love-life and Daddy’s! Can she cope?

#105
Hyacinth’s social standing at a church function is jeopardised when Daisy tries to encourage Onslow to become more ardent.

#106
Hyacinth enjoys a quiet family christening — except when it’s Daisy’s family.

#201
Hyacinth spies a strange man who has obiously spent the night next door at Liz’s house. What will such moral turpitude do to the property values? And to make things worse, Daddy has disappeared again.

#202
Hyacinth is thrilled when the aristocratic Mrs. Fortescue asks for a lift into town; but unfortunately, the ride does not go as smoothly as planned.

#203
Hyacinth wants to impress her vocal talents on Emmet, Liz’s brother, a professional musician and director of the local amateur operatic society. But her preferred medium, the candlelight dinner, goes hopelessly awry.

#204
Hyacinth awaits the delivery of a new suite which is the exact replica of one in Sandringham House. But what good is such a momentous delivery without neighbours to notice and envy it? If only the neighbours would cooperate...

#205
Hyacinth drags Richard to a weekend at a golf club. Richard doesn’t like to golf, but Hyacinth can’t wait to rub shoulders with the snooty toots at the club.

#206
A series of problems engendered by her relatives threaten to flatten Hyacinth’s hard-won facade.

#207
Despite the failure of her earlier attempts to impress Emmet, Hyacinth realizes a new opportunity and seizes upon it with all her ability. Unfortunately, she still can’t sing.

#208
Daddy has disappeared again, only to be found at a toy store, the proud purchaser of half the stock. The family turns to Hyacinth to help foot the bill.

#209
Hyacinth takes Daddy out for a picnic in the country. But Daddy disappears with both the car and the tuna mayonnaise.

#210
Onslow’s birthday is no cause for Hyacinth to celebrate, but Rose’s impressive new gentleman friend is.

#301
Richard has no hiding place from Hyacinth now that early retirement has been thrust upon him. He finds the thought of all the extra time that the two of them will be able to spend together rather daunting.

#302
Hyacinth has forced richard to participate in a trip to the countryside to look for Iron Age remains. But further cultural excursions are curtailed when Daisy and Onslow report that Rose is behaving in outrageous fashion.

#303
Hyacinth borrows a holiday cottage in the country for the weekend and plans a small barbeque. Small, that is, only by comparison with the planning efforts used by Churchill in the last war.

#304
According to Hyacinth, the one thing she cannot stand is snobbery, people trying to pretend they are superior. As she logically concludes, “That only makes it so much harder for those of us who really are.”

#305
Hyacinth has determined that Richard needs a hobby and plunks down a video camera before him. She admonishes him to go of and “be artistic,” an instruction she will soon live to regret.

#306
Hyacinth and Richard have been invited to a showing at an art gallery, and she hones up by reading books on art. Her polish stands to be stripped, however, when her father sneaks into the exhibit and begins mingling with the art lovers.

#307
The opportunity of spending the weekend on a cruiser thrills Hyacinth. She can occupy herself with purchasing the correct yachting gear for Richard and herself and in preparing a “nautical light buffet” for her family and friends on board.

#401
Hyacinth has decided that Richard will gain a high executive position with a local firm that has developed a vacancy in their ranks. Richard fancies neither the prospect of the job nor the plan Hyacinth has evolved for him meeting The Big Boss.

#402
Hyacinth has volunteered to escort a retired Commodore from the train station to the Ladies’ Luncheon. She believes she will have just what it takes to ingratiate herself with such an old sea dog.

#403
Hyacinth volunteers Richard’s services to help out the Church Hall where there is a problem with the lights. However, since his forte is strictly not in the direction of DIY, Richard’s contributions only add to the mayhem.

#404
The bee in Hyacinth’s bonnet is about buying a small cottage in the country as a weekend retreat. Richard learns that her idea of small does not match his. Hyacinth learns that the Country Life is not quite as she thought.

#405
Much to Richard’s horror, Hyacinth decides to make another attempt at finding a weekend country home. When a sudden problem involving Daddy demands Richard’s attention, Hyacinth asks Elizabeth to help her find a suitable property.

#406
Hyacinth and Richard are spending their first day in their new country retreat. It may be a grand address, but the accomodation they have secured for themselves is not so much “small” as “minute.”

#407
Hyacinth is desperate to keep up with the Barker-Finches, who have a bit of local fame at barbeque. She plans a super barbeque special complete with her own “celebrity,” leaving Richard far from keen on the idea.

#501
Hyacinth is seaside experiencing all the fun of the fair at a pleasure beach. In her distinctive blazer and hat shee looks after a travel weary lady and deals with an amorous Italian pensioner.

#502
Hyacinth is concerned that her invitation to the Mayor’s fancy dress ball hasn’t yet dropped through her letter box. Richard is even more concerned that Hyacinth intends him to attend costumed as Louis XIV in silk trousers.

#503
Hyacinth is in a sunny disposition, which mystifies Richard. The real horror of his situation dawns on him when he ralizes that he has forgotten their anniversary and that Hyacinth is beaming in anticipation of a gift which he has not bought her.

#504
While walking by an idyllic riverbank with Richard, Hyacinth comes up with one of her most ambitious plans. “I shall hold a riverside picnic equally as graceful as one of my candlelight suppers.”

#505
Hyacinth has decided instead of her usual gift to Richard of slippers that he should recieve skis instead. When Richard protests that he has no intention of taking up the sport, Hyacinth responds that he can cultivate the correct image by strapping them atop the car and driving about with them occasionally.

#506
Hyacinth is most excited about attending a country house sale and “mingling with the aristocracy.” Richard immediately loses sleep at the prospect of Hytacinth in a position to easily go well beyond their spending limits.

#507
Convinced that Emmet is too overawed by her personality to invite her to join the cast of a musical, Hyacinth invites Elizabeth and him for coffee. She then bursts into impromptu snatches of 1920s musicals.

#508
Although the musical for which she had auditioned is already fully cast, Hyacinth is convinced that Emmet is only too shy to offer her a part. Hyacinth evolves a plan to pluck up his courage by inviting him to Violet’s home for a “bon vivant buffet.”

#509
Hyacinth is stung to lose first prize at the local craft fair for “free style floral decoration of a table centerpiece.” To make matters worse, the winner is one Lydia Hawksworth, a lady who once was objectionable at one of Hyacinth’s candlelight suppers.

#510
Hyacinth may yet become the Barbara Cortland of the West Midland social scene. She aims to advise and educate the nation on gracious living, lit incandescently by their own candlelight suppers.